___iRreplaceaBle

Friday, January 26, 2007

i really don't know what i want..don't know how i feel..ytd went kap to supposedly 'mug' wif 4h ppl..but end up talking a whole lot..well..i was expecting to be all so excited and happy when i see the long lost 4h-nj ppl..but..it didn't turn out so..i don't know why..but i just don't feel the anxiety..i'm sad cos i don't know why i feel that way..i don't wana feel that way..but im pretty sad cos they don't seem to be happy nor excited to see me also..i feel so insignificant..im no longer impt to them..neither am i part of their lives anymore..its like oh ok kat is here alr..lets continue with our nj talk and stuff..i felt so alone..felt so lonely..

but it feels totally different when i see peijue mayqi and frederick..it feels like wa..they're finally here..its feels so good knowing that they're there cos im won't be alone anymore..actually i was excited to see simin when i know she's on her way..i was so happy..wanted to give her a hug..cos didn't see her the other time i went back to RV..thot she wld be happy and excited to see me too..but it didn't seem that way at all..i don't know why..she gave me the feeling that she didn't bother if i was there anot at all..the cold shoulder she gave me made me felt like leaving..wanted to talk to her..but she doesn't seem interested to talk to me and ask me abt hows sch and life and stuff..so i didn't talk to her either..for fear she will give me those 1 word answers again..which i totally dread..well mayb she didn't mean all those at all..but thats just what i felt..that's the feeling she gave me..well i might be wrong..but if u don't mean that way..why make me feel that way? just don't get it..sometimes i think human are quite hypocritical..

then the nj ppl went to the other table to talk abt their nj stuff..so fine i went back to do my work..well i just didn't feel good at all..wana join them talk and laugh and stuff but yet duno what on earth they talking abt..so i gave up and just join peijue and frederick..well i can see u NJ ppl are all having a fun and great time together..well congrats to you guys then..

well im happy too..i love my class..the ppl are nice and friendly..and we always go crazy together..haha..one day during break we were mugging at the balcony and we had a talk..i think elaine tai speaks very sensible and true stuff..i think i wana go NJ and join back the RV family..and i think i also wana stay in SA cos im rather attached alr i think..but the travelling dist is really dreading me..that's one big concern for me..cos im sure 6 mths later i'll be complaining abt travelling and it'll a such a chore that i'll start dreading sch..i don't wana regret my own choice..

O's results are just like a wk away and initially i cant wait for them to be out cos i wanted to change sch so badly due to the dist..but now im quite attached alr..i duno what i want..obviously i wana get better results and change to NJ if i can..bt if i cant gt into NJ..shld i change to JJ or AC? or shld i stay in SA? some say AC is a no money no talk sch..but its definitely so much so much nearer from my hse..but if AC and SA are abt on par..what for i go thru so much trouble to get to know new ppl and adapt to new environment in AC again? might as well just stay in SA..bt i definitely will complain abt travelling..that's for sure..so i really duno what i want..elaine tai and sharon ho were like saying how they wish they won't be good enough for the better schs to change schs..then they won't have to make any choices and 'have no choice' but to stay in SA..but u won't be happy either cos it means tt ur really lousy to get lousy results..cos obviously who doesn't wish they had good results?

on the other hand..if i go NJ..i feel inferior..cos its like every1 is bonded with their class and stuff alr..every1 chose their CCA and stuff alr..it wont be easy for me to fit in..its nt abt being an RVian anot..wadeva it is..2nd intaker is always disadvantaged..

so what i believe in is right..choices are our freedom..but we get countless dilemma and troubles in return..isit a blessing or curse? oh man..this really sucks..think i'll just leave this into GOD's hands..HE will put me where he wants me to be..well..of cos according to what he has planned for me..

im really sorry for feeling that way..but thats exactly how i feel..this is my blog..i dun see a need to hide anything..or else it doesnt serve its purpose..well ur not obliged to read this..

05:33
LOVE is a GAME
learn it;live it;love it

Me, Myself, I:

Katrina Wong
17 going on 18
3rd November 1990
Scorpio
Nan Hua Primary
River Valley High - 2d04.4h06
Saint Andrews JC[pae] - OG26.07s07
Anglo-Chinese JC[jae] - Chimera.2sb408
Entrepreneurship Council
Queenstown Baptist Church - Soar
Daughter of GOD

Loves:

GOD
My friends
Soccer
Manchester United
Tennis
French fries
Haagen Dazs.Ben&Jerrys
Midnight cookie.Strawberry Cheesecake
Milo
Pokka Green Tea
Bubble Tea
Cup corn
Pizza Hut hot & spicy drumlets
Puppies & Kittens
Watching TV - Survivor.HK dramas
Movies - Comedy

Hates:

Hypocrites
Smokers
Drink-drivers
Drug addicts
Jerks & Bastards
Bittergourd
Insects & Rodents
Growing up & moving on

Wish List:

Do well for As
Keep my family & friends close to my heart
My own Happily Ever After

My Rainbow Connection!

Siblings in CHRIST
[x]SOAR
[x]Angela
[x]Billy&Deborah
[x]CaiFang
[x]Carmen
[x]ESTAR!
[x]Fourforever
[x]Jason
[x]Kahei
[x]Katai
[x]Laiyi
[x]Lydia
[x]Pamela
[x]WeiWei
[x]Xiwen
[x]Xiaozhang

ACJC 2SB408 JAE
[x]LOVE SB4
[x]Jeanny
[x]Joshua
[x]Phuong
[x]Phuong & friends
[x]Ruijie
[x]Stanley
[x]Swaiming
[x]KWOKthechemteacher

ACJC CHIMERA OG JAE
[x]Denise
[x]Amelia

SAJC 07s07 PAE
[x]07s07!
[x]Chenyang
[x]Elaine
[x]Peehua
[x]Seowjin
[x]Serena
[x]Sharon
[x]Shinni
[x]Wanxin
[x]Wanyi
[x]Yiqing

RVHS 4H06
[x]3[h]appy[h]avoc.4[h]eavensake
[x]Bong
[x]Mayqi
[x]Weirong
[x]Frederick
[x]Hen
[x]Justin
[x]Levon
[x]Jiateng
[x]Weizong
[x]Chinkeat
[x]Rachel
[x]Peijue
[x]Tiffany
[x]Zhenhuan

RVHS Shuttlers
[x]CaiJunJie

Others
[x]ANA

My Happenings!

Special thanks: